If we’re going to revive the blog, we’re also going to revive the birthday interview tradition. (We’re also, apparently, going to refer to ourselves in the plural.)
I didn’t do this last year. I wish I had. I don’t regret taking time off from writing, but I do regret not marking major milestones. For myself and for the kids. Ah well. Live and learn.
Anyway, happy birthday to me! Here’s to the year that will divide the Before Time from whatever comes next!
How are you spending your birthday?
At home, doing the same thing I do most days: taking care of a baby and his big siblings. I plan to make myself a completely decadent cake, though, to make up for it being a pretty boring normal day.
Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
That first one is tough. Happier that our family has grown and a few stressful circumstances have changed for the good. Sadder for the loss of my grandpa, for missing my people, and for the general state of the world.
I think I’m about the same size as I was this time last year but things have shifted, as they tend to do when you have a baby. (For the record, I highly recommend not owning a scale. Weight means far less than how you feel in your body, and it’s easier to feel good when you’re not stressed about that number.)
The last one is easy & happy: definitely richer this year. David got a new job that came with a larger salary. So while we still have to pay for a baby ($$$) we are doing just fine.
What did you do last year that you’ve never done before?
Squeeze out a 10 pound baby in record time. Take my kids to a movie theater. Visit the Great Salt Lake. Write an Advent bible study guide. Cruise around in our new (to us) right-hand-drive vehicle. Live through a global pandemic and the biggest civil rights movement in history. (I mean, those are ongoing, but so far I’m still here.)
What was your favorite discovery last year?
The Land Rover Defender 110 that David bought last summer. Technically his friend discovered it, and David bought it, but I’ve discovered how much fun it is to have a new project with him. Having that thing has pushed us to do more exploring & creating together, and it’s been delightful.
What do you hope to learn this coming year?
To be stronger & more flexible. And I mean that both physically & mentally. There are some health things I’ve been putting off till after the baby was born. I’m nervous, relieved, excited, scared, all the things? to start working on them.
What would you like to have this year that you didn’t have last year?
A COVID-19 vaccine. Is that too obvious & generic an answer?
Honestly, I’d love to have a pool by my next birthday. Which would mean a new house. Which in turn has a lot of implications that I’m not ready to fully explore. But seriously, a pool would be nice.
What was your biggest achievement of this year?
Making a brand new human person from scratch.
What was your biggest failure?
Not taking better care of my children’s teeth. There’s only so much I can do, I know. But Ryan has a weird bruised/dying tooth, Mila cracked one in half (because it was ROTTING OUT OF HER HEAD), and all of them have had cavities. This shouldn’t surprise me; David & I don’t have great teeth genes. Doesn’t make me feel any better though.
Where did you travel this year?
I think all my travel was close to home and/or for family things. A handful of drives up to my parents’ house. A “staycation” with my entire family in Scottsdale. A family reunion with David’s dad’s family in northern Arizona. David’s birthday in Tucson. His cousin’s wedding in Salt Lake was probably the farthest we went.
That’s kind of depressing, considering travel is sketchy these days and who knows when we’ll get to go anywhere next.
Do you have a destination in mind for next year?
The beach. I don’t care which one, I need to get there. We’re talking about doing some road trips in the fall & winter, but nothing solid yet.
Frankly, I wouldn’t turn down a trip anywhere right now, but again…whomp whomp, coronavirus.
What did you get really excited about?
Having a baby and David’s new job. Big life changes around here.
What do you wish you’d done more of?
Enjoying & maybe documenting my pregnancy. It’s probably my last and I wish it had been less…fraught. Also I wish I’d spent more time outdoors and with friends & family. I miss not-my-house and not-my-children.
What do you wish you’d done less of?
Trying to be in control. I’m not. I keep trying to be but…here we are. Forced lessons are hard.
What was the best book you read?
What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours by Helen Oyeyemi was a surprise favorite. Technically, since I finished it right before my last birthday, it shouldn’t count but it’s my interview so whatever. Shout out to The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman and The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier by Florence Williams too.
What did you want and get?
A healthy baby.
What did you want and not get?
Where do I even start? Damn you, coronavirus.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A cleaning service and/or nanny. I’m really tired of being the primary caregiver & housekeeper. Between sickness & pregnancy & school-at-home & everything else the year threw at us, the last year has worn me right out. It would’ve been nice to outsource just some of the work.
Related: we really need to get rid of some stuff. The walls are crowding in on me. It’s hard to clean (or get anything else done) when everyone is around all the time & the stuff just keeps accumulating. Make the kids go away for a bit, donate or trash like half the stuff, then give everything a deep clean. Any takers?
What kept you sane?
David. Truly. He saved us when Mila, Ryan, and I got really sick in December. Having him work from home during the last couple weeks of pregnancy and the first couple weeks of Luke’s life was such a gift. If I didn’t have him around, who would I word vomit all over? Who would make me laugh at inappropriate things? Who would bring me ice cream at the end of a long day?
I sure love that man.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Inequity. Not that I wasn’t aware of it already, but the pandemic has really highlighted the race & socioeconomic issues inherent in our nation’s systems.
The way the virus hit the Navajo Nation so hard is a stark reminder of how poorly we’ve treated indigenous peoples. The high rate of unemployment, the minimal relief provided by the government for individuals, and the amount of money the wealthy are still raking in is just appalling. Even the demographic breakdowns of COVID-19 cases & deaths is a terrible reminder that Black people are suffering, that we don’t take care of our elders, that disabled folks are considered expendable.
No wonder people are protesting. Rioting. Angry. Tired. DONE.
There’s not much I’ve been able to do about it all, but I’m trying to do what little I can.
Did you fall in love?
With a fat baby boy, yes.
Who did you miss?
My family. We don’t even live close enough to see each other often anyway, but goodness, what I wouldn’t give to have my people together right now.
Did you learn a valuable life lesson this year?
Nothing is promised.
Nearly all the things I depend on have been uprooted by this virus. I didn’t even realize how much I just expected things to be. And now they aren’t. Church is different. School is different. The entire world is different. I just…assumed so much.
I’m nervous & uncertain about what the future holds. But I know I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. Not exactly. Too much has shaken loose and proven to be unnecessary. Harmful, even. I hope we can shape what remains into something good.
I hope we don’t get too complacent. Life is short and there’s so much living to be done.
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