WARNING: I’m going to whine in this post. A lot. About stupid things. If you don’t want to read all my moaning and griping, go away. If you are going to leave comments that start with “Well, at least you’re not…” or something like unto it, go away. If you are going to remind me how desperately I wanted this pregnancy and how I should just be grateful and have no right to complain, go away. I don’t want to hear it. Right now, I just want to complain.
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I hate all the drivers of all the cars everywhere. Hate them. None of them knows the correct way to do anything involving a vehicle. They don’t signal when they’re going to turn or suddenly pull over. They double park. They speed through parking lots and almost run over my slow pregnant self. They cut me off. They can’t figure out how to merge onto the freeway. They drive way under the speed limit. They drive way over the speed limit. They think they’re so cool in their hideous yellow sports cars and lifted trucks. I hate them all. I’m seriously thinking about never driving ever again.
Also, I feel like someone has punched me really hard in the pubic bone and it is severely bruised and the bruise will not heal. It hurts all the time. Stretching does not help. Walking does not help. Resting does not help. Applying pressure sometimes helps, but for some reason people don’t like it when you rub yourself anywhere near your crotch in public. So that’s pretty much out.
Also, I’m really getting tired of getting kicked in the rib cage ALL. THE. TIME. I mean, yay that baby is happy and active and all, but why can’t she grow outward instead of up up up? There is just not room in my upper torso for all my internal organs AND a tiny person who has no sense of personal space.
Also, ASU sucks. And I don’t feel the need to list reasons supporting this. It just does. So there.
Also, I’m really tired of people telling me that I’m not very big. They ask how far along I am, and I say 8 months, and they say, “Wow, you’re still so small!” Or they ask how I’m feeling, and I tell them I feel enormous, and they say, “You’re not big at all. You look great.” Guess what? I don’t care what I look like. I have to hold my breath to tie my shoes. I can’t cut my own toenails. I have outgrown most of my clothes, including maternity clothes, and it’s too hot to wear most of the things that can still contain my girth. I officially weigh more than 200 pounds. I feel like a freaking manatee.
Also, my feet are hot all the time. I wouldn’t mind so much if the rest of me was hot and my feet felt fine, but it’s exactly the opposite. I put my feet on my own calves to cool them down at night. It is driving me crazy.
Also, I realize Osama bin Laden being dead is kind of big deal, but why did they have to cut “The Amazing Race” short just to broadcast filler “news” until the president made his speech (more than an hour after he was supposed to)? It’s incredibly petty and I should be embarrassed of myself, but I really just wanted to see who finished their chocolate gnome first and who got eliminated. Which I could have done, had CBS waited till the show was over to start their breaking news stuff.
Also, I can’t stand how irritable I am right now. Everything bugs me, and the fact that I’m always annoyed is incredibly annoying.
It needs to be June already.
That is all.
And if one more person says, "Oh, enjoy these last few weeks before the baby comes!" you will kick them in the teeth. But you'll have to race me to it.
This is the best post I've read all day! My favorite was the comment about your pubic bone hurting. My baby sat on it for the last trimester and it was the worst! And that is definitely not something you can tell anyone about in normal conversation without getting really weird "you just said something inappropriate" comments. And I agree with Rachael, there is no enjoying the last month before you have your baby, just counting down the days. I highly recommend wearing your husband's gym shorts if they fit or just staying at home and not getting dressed at all if you can. 🙂
Rachael: SERIOUSLY.
Jolena: I'm so glad someone else knows what I am talking about! All I get are weird looks and uncomfortable laughs. Yeesh.
Unfortunately, I can't empathize you, so you better be there to empathize with me when I'm spouting off all the same grumpiness. Also, I think you're cool.
When that time comes, Kelli, I am so your girl. Also, I think you're cool too.
someday…i will be just like you. Im kind of thrilled about this
Sydney, you are my cousinly soul mate. Let's live next door to each other and sip lemonade and eat cupcakes on our porches and bask in the awesomeness that is our lives forever, 'kay?