As we drive past a Texas Roadhouse…
Me: “I’ve never eaten at a Texas Roadhouse.”
Him: “It’s kind of like Outback but with more burgers. Or like Applebee’s with more steak. Which is essentially the same thing.”
*
Telling me about the ’90’s slow jams blasting while he was working in a different part of the building than he usually does…
Him: “I was sitting right by the radio while I was doing my work and there’s all this Brian McKnight and Boyz II Men playing and it was kind of awkward.”
Me: “Are you kidding me? How did that NOT get you all psyched up for work? Those guys are awesome!”
Him: “Well, I was trying to get stuff done and they’re playing songs like, ‘Baby, I wanna make sweet sweet love to you.’ I was getting all flushed!”
*
“I promise I will never take pictures of random women without them knowing it and post them on the internet, because that’s how much I love you.”
*
“Goats are the ideal livestock for lazy agriculturists. You forget to feed ’em? Eh, they’ll figure something out. They can’t get run over by cars, because they just jump up on the hood when you try. All you really have to worry about is chupacabras.”
*
Me: “Mila, you don’t need to be so loud. What does your inside voice sounds like?”
Mila: “Sssssss…” (I think she meant “shh” but with her lisp it’s hard to tell sometimes.)
Me: “That sounds like a snake! Are you a snake?”
David: “Or are you speaking parsley tongue…or whatever that’s called…”
I love this man. He keeps me laughing all the time and it’s fantastic.
Haha classic. Parsley tongue though? David should know better. Also, is that a new couch!?
It is! I should post pics…
He seems like a pretty rad dude. A pretty rad dude indeed. Maybe someday we'll get to meet.
Please let's make that happen.
Hahah. My favorite was the one about 90's slow jams. I always tell my husband I'm gonna write a book of all the ridiculous things he says.. You should too!
It'd read a bit like something from Jack Handey…totally random and baffling and hysterical.