I reverted my oldest archived posts to drafts a while back because they are, for the most part, embarrassing or irrelevant. However, every now and then I find an ancient gem that is still worth sharing. This is one of them.
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it always surprises me to learn that another person admires or respects or, heaven forbid, likes me. i am so excruciatingly aware of all the things i lack, the things i don’t do, the things i am not, that i can’t help wondering what is wrong with anyone who somehow sees past them. to hear that i am anything but mediocre at best is only confusing to me.
it’s just me, guys.
maybe they know better than i do. maybe i’m not the horrible, awkward, unattractive girl i sometimes think i am.
but then i have to realize that people do not love me because i am loveable. because let’s face it: much of the time, i’m not.
it doesn’t matter how wonderful i am, and i must say, i do have my moments of greatness. the same people who love me when i’m devastatingly beautiful and fantastically witty will love me just as much on my off days (which are not infrequent). nothing i do can change that. and that is good to know.
love is not earned; it is a gift.
so, i’m not sure why, but while i was reading this some bright eyes lyrics popped into my head.
you write such pretty words
but life’s no story book
love’s an excuse to get hurt
and to hurt
do you like to hurt?
i do! i do!
then hurt me!
love you jen.
p.s. we still need to watch 24.
that is one of my favorite songs on that cd-of-the-day.
and yes, we do need to watch 24.
and all you people need to stop making me cry at work.