I feel I am neglecting you. Like I should say…something…but I am not sure what that is.
I finished reading East of Eden a few days ago, and ever since have been thinking about Cain and Abel, the duality of man, and why we are who we are and do what we do. It’s not really going anywhere; it’s just been sitting on my brain. Consequently I have nothing profound to say about it. Yet. Someday, perhaps.
My mom was in town a couple weekends ago to help me redecorate the spare bedroom. She left me with some projects to finish, since we didn’t have time to get to everything, and I’m still not done. I’ve been busy, or tired, or lazy, and I keep putting it off. I’m a little ashamed of that, since I promised her I’d finish it. Plus I don’t want to post any details until it’s done and I have pictures to prove it. Which could be never.
I’m behind in my writing work, and I’m physically exhausted from my retail work, and I’m not devoting the effort I should to my church work.
We’ve had some deaths in the family. I’m not sure I’m handling it well. It’s reminding me of kind of a scary place I was in a long time ago, and forcing me to think about the grieving process itself, and bringing mortality into sharper focus, and I’m not sure I like any of it. But I suppose it’s brought immortality and eternity closer too, which is probably a good thing.
Maybe I should be expanding on all these points. It just doesn’t seem feasible right now. Either I can’t find the words or I really just don’t want to yet.
So forgive me, little blog, for not making you a priority these days. Give me some time–a few days, maybe a week–to sort things out. I’ll be back.