332 + 234 + 101 weeks
It’s been more than four months since my last Mila Monday. I fell out of the habit of taking weekly photos during my Summer On Purpose series and just never started back up. At this point I’m not even sure if my weeks count is correct, but I’m too lazy to count that far back and find out.
While I don’t think anyone has missed the weekly updates but my mom, I’m feeling pretty guilty about stopping. I mean, I took at least one photo of each child every week for SIX YEARS. The girls’ lives have been well-documented, but that poor neglected third child of mine… Well, his digital photo album is going to have some gaps, that’s all.
What I feel worst about, though, is the timing of it. He’s hit some major milestones since May and all I have are a few iPhone videos and Instagram shots to show. We have this fancy pants upgraded camera and I’m not using it for the big stuff, let alone the small quiet moments I want to remember.
I have a lot of anxiety about creating right now. Even gearing myself up to write this post felt intimidating. There are plenty of reasons—some legit, others less so—but it mostly comes down to fear. I’m afraid I can’t commit to the work. Writing, taking photos, writing, researching, writing, planning, writing, sharing on social media, more writing…it’s a lot. And no, I’m not talking about blogging alone. NaNoWriMo is fast approaching and I’m all-around petrified.
It’s foolish and embarrassing but there it is.
Instead of following through on all the inspiration I have (And there’s SO MUCH right now! Pages and pages of notes + ideas! For both books + blogs!) I’m spending a lot of time on numbing activities. Too much scrolling through social media; not enough actual work.
So this is me starting fresh. If I can get back to a regular schedule here, even if it’s only Mila Monday posts every week, perhaps I can shift myself away from a place of fear and toward a place of progress.
Any courage + encouragement you can send my way is appreciated. <3