Two years ago I spent the month of September blogging about marriage. Our anniversary falls smack in the middle of the month, and I thought it would be nice to share some thoughts and interviews about marriage. I had lots of help from friends who answered some questions about marriage, sharing their experiences and advice and generally reminding me that there are lots of ways to have a good marriage.
I would have liked to revisit the theme last year but…well, I was hugely pregnant, swollen like a bloated whale carcass on a hot beach, and pretty much hated everything. I think I blogged twice, not counting Mila Mondays.
ANYWAY, this year I feel like a human again so I’m bringing back Marriage Month. Yay!
Things will be different this time around, though. I’ve only recruited a couple of guest bloggers, and their posts won’t follow the same questionnaire format as the ones from Marriage Month 2014. Instead, I’ve given them very loose prompts and asked them to share their thoughts with you. I will continue the series I’ve started this year (Inspired To and What We’re Reading) while sticking to the marriage theme. My brother is getting married so there will definitely be wedding pictures at some point. I’ve got a printable or two coming at you. Tomorrow I’ll be sharing a recipe.
Basically it’ll be the same old Jen blog you know and (hopefully) love, just with a specific focus throughout September.
See, I know a lot of people love the romance and flowers and sappy songs, and that’s all well and good, but those aren’t the things that make a solid marriage. They can certainly be part of it.
However, in my experience and from what I have observed, good marriages can seem awfully boring most of the time. Lots of paying bills, figuring out schedules, making hard decisions, disciplining children, cleaning and cooking and shopping and working and living with another person.
BUT–and this is the thing that is so great but so hard to explain–good marriages are infinitely more than that. If it was just the stuff above, you could be talking about a business partnership, a casual friendship, or a couple of roommates. I’ve noticed undercurrents of trust, humor, vulnerability, and selflessness in good marriages that I don’t see anywhere else. It’s fascinating and beautiful, and if we could pin down the surefire formula for a successful marriage, we’d be millionaires, you and I.
We probably won’t figure that out, but let’s talk about it anyway. This Marriage Month I want to explore the age-old question “What makes a marriage work?” Chances are there’s no single answer. If nothing else, though, I hope we can learn something and have a little fun in the process.
To kick things off, I asked a friend if I could share something he posted on his Facebook page recently. With his permission, this is a letter he wrote to his wife on their wedding anniversary:
Today [my wife] and I have been married for 33 years. People often say, “Wow, that’s a long time.” It is a long time and sometimes feels like eternity. 🙂 However, there is something indescribably satisfying having someone continuously in your life for this long. It is a solid foundation of love and friendship.
Some things I have learned about marriage:
If you choose to marry, be committed – not for a year or 10 years, but forever
Love takes work, but when two people work together towards the same goal, amazing things happen
Forgive, communicate, say sorry, and realize that there will be bumps in the road
Life has more meaning when you focus on another’s happiness rather than your own
A successful marriage requires falling in love with your spouse many times
Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry
…Marriage is a challenging “timeline” and we have reached a new, empty nest stage. We’ve loved each other, hurt each other; drifted a little apart and then grown back even closer together again. And yet here we are…after all is said and done, I love you more today than I did 33 years ago.
Say it with me: “Awwwwww!”
There are a handful of my favorite pics of David and I over the years. #s 1, 3, and 6 are by Photography Hill. #2 was taken at a party hosted by Camille and Jacob of Friday We’re In Love. All of them make me happy.
Since I don’t have everything set in stone yet, I’d love for your input. Within the topic of marriage, what would you like to discuss or read about this month? Have you read any good articles on the subject lately? What’s your take on marriage in general?